Words I Couldn't Say
by LaEnginera
Summary: He is still leaving. After everything that had happened he is still leaving. Jemma wills herself not to cry as she watches Fitz load his things onto the cargo ramp.


Words I Couldn't Say

He is still leaving. After everything that had happened he is still leaving. Jemma wills herself not to cry as she watches Fitz load his things on to the cargo ramp.

"Jemma.. I um, I came to – "

"Say goodbye?" Jemma tearfully said, with more bitterness than she had intended.

"Yes. I - well, I guess I will see you next time we land then. Take care of yourself?" Fitz replied, with a sad grin on his lips. The truth is that he did not really want to leave, especially not like this, when he knows that she is still grieving over Tripp. He knows that she needs him, and if he is being honest, he knows that _he _needs her too, but at the same time, he also knows that this is for the best.

Time apart is what they need. Time to sort things internally. In his case, time to accept that she doesn't feel the same way as he does, and time to move on.

When she did not reply, Fitz awkwardly hugged her and turned to pick up the remainder of his things. He was already walking back to the BUS when he heard Jemma's quivering voice.

"I did not want to leave Fitz. I wanted to stay beside you and help you. I wanted to be beside you the whole damn time, like you had done for me. But I wasn't helping you… I was making you worse."

Jemma used all the courage she had to take a step towards him and continued. "You – you suddenly went from my best friend in the world, to this man that willingly gives me oxygen as he confesses his love for me, to.. to lying in bed, in comma…"

By this time Fitz has turned back to look at her only to see her with tears streaming down her face. He wanted to hold her, wipe her tears away and assure her that he's fine now. But somehow he is rooted on his spot, knowing full well that he needs to hear all of it.

"The nine days you were in comma were that longest nine days of my life Fitz.. and when you woke up…" Jemma swallowed hard to keep her composure but she could only be strong for so long. She suddenly burst into tears, as she recalls all the emotions she felt back then.

"I just did not know what to do! I tried to help you but I was of no use! And the thing was.. the thing was that I thought I could do something for you… something you wanted me to say.. but I.."

"You can't", Fitz said. Truth be told, he was not angry with her for not feeling the same way he did. How could you blame someone for not loving you anyway? He knew for a fact that love cannot be forced, and he was certainly not going to force himself to Jemma. That does not mean that he was not hurt though. Because during all this time that he was struggling, he was still hoping. He was still clinging to the hope that there was a better reason for her leaving, and that maybe, maybe she can find it in her heart to love him back.

He did not wait for her to respond. He turned around and purposely walked towards the BUS. As much as it pains him to admit, he can't spend any second more with her right now. Her words were cutting through his skin. He needs to leave and be away from her.

But before he can reach the doors of the Playground, Jemma caught up with her and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him from behind.

"Jemma…"

"No Fitz. You were right. I couldn't. I couldn't say it because I was confused. I didn't know myself.. I am sorry that I was not able to tell you when you needed to hear it…" With that Jemma moved to face him, and looked into his eyes as she mustered the courage to finally say the words he needed to hear. "But I can now. You.. are also more than that for me. More than my best friend in the world I mean. I love you Fitz. I'm sorry I did not know it then, and I did not have the courage to tell you until now. Please… let me show you".

And with that Jemma closed the distance between them as she kissed Fitz with all the love and passion she feels for him. She knew that this is the one chance she can show him, and she will give all her best to do just that.


End file.
